


Your Name

by lemon_amethyst



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2jae (side), Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Markjin, Pining, Post-Break Up, Romance, Tattoos, Weddings, mention of markjae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 18:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12870453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_amethyst/pseuds/lemon_amethyst
Summary: People say that tattooing your girlfriend or boyfriend's name on your body is stupid; it's irrelevant when the love is over. Because love doesn't last forever.And Mark knew they were right as soon as his relationship with Jinyoung ended and his name in italic font remained on his chest - though there was an exception to this: Mark's tattoo was still relevant - despite the breakup he still loved Jinyoung.





	Your Name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nakasawa444](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakasawa444/gifts).



> This year has been a handful so far, it's been a year of changes, struggles and issues that I still have to solve, but among this mess I met the sweetest person on Earth that helps me get through it all with her supporting and good word. Thank you, Mieke, you're the best. (This was supposed to be a gift on your birthday, but I'm the worst and couldn't finish it on time - yeah, i've been working on this for a few months lmao, I'm sorry! But I hope you'll like it anyway!) 

 

 

 

It was the worst day in Mark's life - and it wasn't because his ex-boyfriend is getting married to someone else. It wasn't even the fact that he invited Mark to the wedding, making him one of his groomsmen.

The reason of Mark's stomach twisting anxiously while he was staring at the wall of the sophisticated bridal and groom's wear boutique, instead of helping the groom in choosing his wedding suit was because he just learned that Youngjae - the groom, who once was Mark's boyfriend, but now remained a good friend by his side - invited Mark's ex-boyfriend, Park Jinyoung, to his wedding. So basically, _Mark's ex-boyfriend will be present at his ex-boyfriend's wedding_ and as crazy as it sounds, Mark felt the blood drain from his face as soon as Youngjae finally revealed it to him - only seven days before the actual wedding, from which he couldn't even wriggle out of, because of the role Youngjae gave to him. He may not be Youngjae's best man (the honor fell on Youngjae's brother who was supposed to be here now with Youngjae, but was too busy), the tittle of the groomsman is also important. Also Mark couldn't disappoint Youngjae by ditching him on his important day, can he? He was just so angry at him right now, that the thoughts of leaving Korea, or the planet Earth itself, flooded the already messy mind of Mark's.  

"I think the black one would be better, more traditional... Though, it doesn't match my personality at all, right?" Youngjae said, as he watched himself in the mirror, trying different poses and making weird faces to his reflection. "Hyung?" He attempted again, seeing how his hyung, _ex-boyfriend_ , who was currently sitting on the sofa - is ignoring him, while looking like he saw a ghost. "Are you listening to me? Hyung!"

Mark raised his eyes on Youngjae, finally taking a look of his appearance.  The younger was wearing a suave light gray slim fitted suit with a sleek, blush pink bow tie around his collar. _It suits him perfectly_ , he thought, but he was too angry to actually form any sort of compliment towards the traitor his friend was turned out to be. He rolled his eyes, what made Youngjae chuckle.

"Are you still angry at me for inviting Jinyoung-hyung?" He asked, as he took a few steps towards Mark and plopped down beside him on the sofa.

"Seriously, how could you do that to me?" Mark asked in disbelief, his voice a little too loud for the place they were in right now; the pair drawing attention of the other people trying on the wedding's wear. 

"Huh, so you're still angry," Youngjae pouted, but Mark knew he wasn't feeling bad about it at all. "Look, I wanted to keep it as a surprise for you till the day of the wedding, but I realized it wouldn't be fair. I'm glad I told you now, it wouldn't be good if you ran away from my wedding, wouldn't it?"

" _A surprise!?_ For me?! Seriously, now? I thought we're friends, I thought you don't hold any grudges towards me-" 

"Of course we're friends! That's why I did it in the first place!" Youngjae snapped, "How long has it been since you last saw him? Three years?" He asked and Mark's face expression fell instantly, Youngjae was right. It was three years since he saw Jinyoung. _Three years since Jinyoung broke up with him._ Youngjae sighed, before he continued. "Hyung, I invited him because we're all friends. I couldn't leave him out of it, could I? I haven't seen him for a long time too. I want him to be there with us, on the happiest day of my life. I want you all be there. And... I wanted to make you happy too."

"And how it's supposed to make me happy, Youngjae? We broke up, there's nothing about him that would make me happy-"

"Oh, please! I know you didn't forget about him even for a second after you two broke up, so I wanted to do you a favor-"

"I don't care about him," Mark said, stubbornly lying to himself. But apparently Youngjae knew him more than he knew himself, as he snorted at Mark's statement.

"Yeah, sure. You can't fool me, you were never good at lying. But, hyung, it's okay to admit you still love him now." Youngjae said, and Mark knew what he was referring to. Mark used to deny it while the two of them were together, and it turned out that even though Youngjae smiled while hearing that, he always knew the truth. "What's the point of denying? You don't have to feel bad for me, I'm aware of the fact it was me who imposed myself on you when I learned you two broke up, even though I knew you loved him the whole time we were together-"

"Youngjae...,"

"But it's okay. I spend a great few weeks with you, you were always good to me and I'm thankful. It was a lesson for me and I'm sure it was for you, but, now I've moved on and you should too, hm?" The younger smiled, making Mark's chest warm. _How can he still be nice to him, when it was Mark who agreed to go out with Youngjae just to forget about his past love?_ Youngjae patted Mark's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I still want to be your friend, because you're important to me. You were with me when I was struggling, you were there supporting me when I needed you the most and even now you're here, when I'm getting married." Youngjae was smiling at Mark, but the elder knew how much he went through. Youngjae was still struggling with his sexuality when he hooked up with Mark. And, it would look like Mark took an advantage of it, using the opportunity of his insecurities and fear to muffle the undying feelings towards Jinyoung, to use Youngjae as a substitute, but on the other hand the younger used Mark and his vulnerability to dispel his doubts and gave in to the curiosity of being together with another man. Even though Mark was Youngjae's first crush, which he pursued as soon as he found out Mark was single, it soon died after a few weeks. The two of them became friends and pillars to each other's existence.

"Youngjae, but... I... It's..." Mark mumbled, he felt embarrassed; it wasn't everyday they talked about their past.

"What's with that stuttering? Oh, hyung, you were always so bad with words."  He chuckled at Mark's awkwardness, what earned him a hit on the shoulder from the elder.  
   
"Yah!" Youngjae snickered loudly, but as soon as his laugh died, he went back to the topic. _Jinyoung_.

"Hyung, talk to Jinyoung when you'll see him. Don't avoid him. I know you still love him. You wouldn't have a tattoo on your chest with his name  either way, right?"

"It's..." Mark blushed, the mention of it made him feel as if the inked name on his chest burned him, letting him know that, _yes, his name's still there_. 

"Or do you still keep it because you're secretly a fan of this other Park  Jinyoung, the eccentric middle aged trot singer?" Youngjae teased, making Mark roll his eyes.

"See? You could've always remove it. Or cover the tattoo with another one to hide it. But you didn't." It was one strong evidence that Jinyoung still meant a lot to Mark. Even though it was covered with a shirt everyday, it was still there, reminding him of Jinyoung, causing his heart to beat faster and giving him a lot pain at the same time.  

Mark stayed silent as the memories flooded into his head like a stream of  water.

_"You're drunk! You will regret it when you see it tomorrow," Jinyoung laughed after Mark dragged him to the nearest tattoo studio to prove how much he loved him. He wasn't usually that cheesy and open to show his feelings, but right now he was drunk after the two of them went for a drink or two (in Mark's case - about four) with their friends, where the argument of who loved who more started. And Mark was going to prove him that Jinyoung's the reason Mark would do the craziest things for._

_"I won't regret that because I love you," Mark said with confidence, not caring about the people who might hear him after they entered the studio. It was already evening, so he was relieved the studio was still open. He couldn't lose. Jinyoung grabbed him by his shoulder and whispered._

_"Please, Mark, get yourself together! What if you'll stop loving me at some point? This tattoo will bring back bad memories of me-" Mark put a hand on Jinyoung's mouth, stopping him from sprawling all the nonsense out._

_"I won't stop loving you Jinyoung, I'm serious." He said, although his voice was a little slurred and his movements a bit unbalanced, he was telling the truth._

_"You're drunk," Jinyoung replied, an embarrassed giggle leaving his throat, as his cheeks blushed with a deep red. Mark stared at him for a while, as the pleasant warmth spread in his chest, affirming him in the belief that indeed, Jinyoung is the love of his life. Before Mark could lose himself and lean in to kiss him right now, in the middle of the tattoo studio, a girl approached them with a tattoo catalogue, breaking their moment. Then she redirected them to the other person, pierced and tattooed, and a bit of an intimidating presence tattoo artist._

_Mark realized he wasn't drunk enough to spare himself the pain he felt when the tattooist started to work on his masterpiece. Maybe he didn't think it through? The alcohol seemed to slowly evaporate from his veins as he felt the tears forming in his eyes and the urge to escape the chair was getting stronger every time the needle with ink pierced through his skin. He tried not to think about it too much, as he stared into Jinyoung's worried eyes and focusing on the touch of his hand, squeezing his own reassuringly._

_"Does it hurt?" Jinyoung asked, as the tattoo of his name slowly appeared on Mark's chest. Right where his heart was. As cheesy as it was, Mark wanted to show Jinyoung where his place was. In Mark's heart._

_"Nope, it doesn't," The elder replied, barely holding himself together from the ongoing stinging sensation. Still bearable, but painful nonetheless. The tattooist chuckled,_

_"Don't be so tough, man, it's the most painful placement anyone could choose after all, show some emotions!" Mark smiled sheepishly at the remark, making Jinyoung shook his head at him._

_"You're crazy, hyung," He chuckled, as he caressed the back of Mark's hand with his thumb._

_"I just love you," He couldn't help but say, without any shame, ignoring the people around them. Jinyoung's eyes widened for a second, but when he noticed that the tattooist smiled slightly at him, Jinyoung leaned towards Mark to whisper into his ear._

_"I love you, too," And that short sentence gave him the strength to survive the rest of the session._

It was a bit over three years ago, but Mark still remembered everything about this evening. They were so happy together back then, even though they were struggling with adult life, stressed about exams, as the two of them were about to graduate university, but it didn't matter. They had each other in difficult times. They could survive through this mess together - at least that's what Mark thought back then.

Youngjae sighed, seeing Mark's disheartened expression, snapping him awake from his thoughts.

"Hyung, I want you to be happy so bad, okay? So don't be an a ss and do everything you can to, at least, fix your relationship with Jinyoung-hyung," _That's right,_ Mark should at least apologize to him for everything he had done. _But will Jinyoung really care now? After all those years?_ Mark sighed, changing the subject. He couldn't make his mood any worse now. He should be happy for Youngjae and engage in preparations of his friend's wedding. It was supposed to be the happiest time for Youngjae.

"I'm glad you meet Jaebum." Mark began, making Youngjae jerk his head towards him in surprise. The elder started fiddling with his fingers uneasily, "I hope he'll treat you better than I did. I hope he loves you more than I ever could." 

"Hyung, we talked about this already. I'm not angry, I never was in the first place," He smiled softly. 

"Youngjae... Does Jaebum know about, you know, that we were together once?"

"No, we decided to not talk about our past relationships. And I wouldn't  want to know with whom he was going out with anyway, it's for the better.  Jaebum-hyung doesn't have a tattoo with anyone's name anywhere, so it's more convenient." Youngjae teased, trying to break the tensed atmosphere that suddenly fell over them.

"I'm sorry," Mark scratched the back of his neck.

"Don't be, it's not your fault. The way you two broke up was stupid, so I hope you'll be able to talk it out. Hyung, promise me you'll talk with him, okay? I heard he's single," He wriggled his eyebrows playfully, but Mark had no intentions of getting back with Jinyoung again. Not because he didn't want to, but because he knew Mark was a closed chapter in Jinyoung's life. He didn't want to make him suffer again, as he tended to hurt everyone who ever loved him. He messed everything up because of his stupidity.

"I can't promise you this, there's a reason why we broke up. I don't think he'll want to-"

"Fight for what you desire, Mark. Maybe Jinyoung hoped you would run after him back then? Maybe he hoped you'll do something to hold him back from leaving? Maybe he wasn't as angry at you as you thought he was... Don't be so passive. I'm sure that was what Jinyoung hated the most in you."

"Did you hate it?" 

"I did."

 

 

  
People say that tattooing your girlfriend or boyfriend's name on your body is stupid; it's irrelevant when the love is over. _Because love doesn't last forever._

And Mark knew they were right as soon as his relationship with Jinyoung ended and his name in italic font remained on his chest - though there was an exception to this: Mark's tattoo was still relevant - _despite the breakup he still loved Jinyoung._

 

 

 

Mark couldn't sleep for the entire night before Youngjae's wedding. Ever since he learned that his best friend invited Jinyoung, Mark's anxiety gradually grew, day by day. It wasn't like Mark didn't want to meet Jinyoung; it was quite on the contrary - he missed him like crazy and as much as he wished the best for Jinyoung even now, about three years after their break-up, he wasn't ready to see how the younger moved on and lived his life happily without him.

He was lying in bed for the whole night, rolling around the covers, as the memories of Jinyoung and the times they were together engulfed him, which brought him more sadness and grief that he'd like. 

Mark was mad at himself, that even after all those years he couldn't bring himself to love anyone else the way he loved Jinyoung. Yet he let him go, just like that, without fighting for what he had lost.

The way the two of them broke up was stupid and immature: they couldn't find a way to spend more time together, didn't really listen to their own wants, being too busy with their own lives and jobs to care, they were slowly drifting away from each other - that was what Mark was telling himself, before he realized that it was him who was the responsible one for the breakup.

Right after Mark graduated from university, he got a dream job in a prestigious financial company. He was hired as an intern and had a lot of work for the first few months - other employees were giving him a hard time burying him with tasks and work that wasn't necessarily his responsibility for that matter, but he tried to do his best in hopes for the real contract with the company and employment on a permanent basis in the future. He often had to stay at the office overtime, having piles of  papers to fill out, so when he came back to his small apartment he shared with Jinyoung, the younger was already sleeping, dead tired from his own language lessons. Jinyoung was studying Japanese and with his desire to become a teacher, he had to take more additional curses to his studies. 

Even though they still could go out for a drink together with their friends on weekends, getting drunk and making their stress of the past week  evaporate from their systems, the two of them slowly started to drift apart anyway. Mark was aware of that, but he didn't know what to do to prevent it. _He couldn't resign from the job, could he?_ His work was stressing him out and he was exhausted when he came home on evenings, but the promise of him being hired on the better conditions made him grit his teeth and work even harder - _he wanted to have a great future with Jinyoung, having a stable job and be free from the financial struggles they were facing now_. But Jinyoung didn't seem to understand it.

_"Can we talk?" Jinyoung asked when Mark came home on one rainy Thursday evening. He was wet from head to toe, the raindrops were falling from his brown hair and he was shivering slightly, cursing at the lack of free parking spot in front of their apartment complex - he had to park his car a dozen of meters away from it and, naturally, the rain got heavier the moment he came out, soaking him entirely._

_Mark was a bit surprised seeing Jinyoung waiting for him in a dimly lighted kitchen of their apartment, because he was used to greet Jinyoung when he was already sleeping, Mark lying next to him and snuggling to his lover's back, whispering soft "Hello, I missed you's". He would've been pleasantly astonished if not the way Jinyoung was staring at him, determined and kind of challenging with his arms crossed over his chest. Mark shoved his wet hair back away from his face and sighed; he was tired and he would love to have a decent conversation with Jinyoung as soon as he dries himself and wear something more comfortable, because the wet clothes were clinging annoyingly to his body, but seeing his boyfriend like this made Mark's tiredness go away, giving a place for anxiety in his stomach. Mark knew that something was up and now he was scared of what was it._

_"What's wrong?" Mark asked as he took a few steps towards Jinyoung. The younger huffed._

_"What's wrong?" He mocked his voice, "You didn't read my message?" Jinyoung asked, bewildered, and Mark patted his pockets, damn, he left his phone in the office, again._

_"I left my phone in the office-"_

_"God, I'll go nuts," Jinyoung scowled at him in disbelief, as he stood up from the chair and threw his hands in the air. Mark's guts twisted, as the worry overtook his face._

_"What happened? What did you write?"_

_"That I got promoted for the further courses today." He said curtly, still staring at Mark, unwavering._

_"Really? That's great then-" The smile broke out on Mark's face hearing that, but faltered when he took a few steps toward Jinyoung to hug him and the younger backed away._

_"Yeah, but do you even know what that means?" He asked, but Mark apparently, being the idiot he was, wasn't sure what that meant. He heard  Jinyoung talking about it, that he'd like to get it, and Mark cheered for him, but he was always too caught up with his job to actually understand the situation. "You don't know, right?" Jinyoung sighed, a fake smile plastered on his face, "I got the internship abroad. It means I'm moving to Japan for a year."_

_"What!? For a year?" Mark felt like he was hit by a car hearing this statement, he tried to be happy for Jinyoung, but a year is a long time, how could he live without him for such long time?!_

_"Yes. And I was so excited to tell you about it, yet you had no idea what  that means to me-"_

_"Jinyoung, I'm sorry, I'm just so-"_

_"I know! you're busy, but so am I! Stop making excuses for everything hiding behind your job! You know what?! I was thinking for declining it, as much I'd hated it, because I didn't want to leave you for so long, but I guess I could just do that, since I don't even see you for days! I don't feel we're together anymore!" The younger yelled, his face flushed with anger, as his fists clenched at his sides. Mark's eyes widened._

_"W-what are you saying? Jinyoungie-"_

_"You don't care about anything besides your work. And I hate that. I hate  that I could do everything for you, even turn down the chance to go to  Japan, to make my dreams come true, while you don't even listen to me,  you can't even make some free time to spend with me!"_

_"Jinyoung-"_

_"All those things I do thinking of you, even getting the stupid- oh, God, I'm so naive," Jinyoung whispered to himself as he grabbed his wrist and squeezed it absent-mindedly. Mark was aware of the fact that their relationship was going through a hard time right now, they rarely saw each other, but he had no idea Jinyoung was affected by it so much. He thought their love was safe even in bad times._

_"Jinyoung-ah," Mark spoke with the softest tone he could muster, "You know I'm on my hardest period right now, I'm pressured at work, all I want is to provide a good future for us-"_

_"Stop, just stop it!" Jinyoung interrupted, closing his eyes tightly for a second as if trying to block everything - Mark - from his surroundings. "If it's making you so anxious, why the  hell do you even want to work there in the first place?! Why won't you  choose a smaller company, free of all those stupid and rich people who make your job unbearable?!" He yelled and the moment their eyes meet again, Mark noticed the tears in them, "You know that I don't  need a fancy car or a big house... I just want to have you, that's enough for me."_

_Mark felt a sharp pang in his heart at the sight of Jinyoung breaking down in front of  him. The tears started collecting in the corners of his own eyes; he couldn't help but to make a step closer to Jinyoung he felt the need to comfort him, to touch Jinyoung, to make his tears go away. But how can he do that when the cause of his boyfriend tears was himself? He reached his hand out to touch Jinyoung's cheek instead, wiping the trails of tears that were falling from Jinyoung's beautiful eyes with his thumb._

_This time Jinyoung didn't back away from him and leaned slightly into  Mark's touch._

_"W-would you quit your job to go with me to Japan?" He asked quietly, his voice strained by the emotions that were overwhelming him in that moment._

_"Quit?" Mark whispered, as if he tried not to break the intimate atmosphere between them. He didn't know the answer to Jinyoung's question, he hadn't thought about quitting his job, he haven't even think what to do with Jinyoung and him leaving for Japan! Jinyoung seemed to recognize the hesitancy on Mark's face, as he backed off and sighed._

_"You wouldn't, right?"_

_"Jinyoung, just give me some more time, about a month- They promised   to hire me on normal conditions next month, then I-"_

_"Oh my god... Is this all you care about?!"_

_"I care about you! I just want to give you everything, Jinyoung, everything!   You know I love you so much-!"_

_"I actually don't know anymore," Jinyoung whispered, hanging his head low, and after he draw a shaky breath, he added. "Mark... let's break up." Mark's world crumbled into pieces._

_"What!? No! I don't want to break up with you! Jinyoung-ah, listen-"_

_"Does my opinion even matters? Do you really care about me like you say you do?! I don't feel loved in this relationship anymore, Mark. I don't want to be in this by myself! I don't want to be the only one who cares about you, while you can't do the same for me!" He stated, before he rushed past Mark in the direction of the doors hurriedly._

_"Wait- Where are you going?!" He grabbed him by his arm, but Jinyoung wriggled out of his grip rather forcefully, unable to look at Mark as he turned his head away from him._

_"It's not your business anymore," He sobbed, "Don't you dare to search for me, I don't   want to see you ever again." And left the apartment, leaving Mark dumbfounded. Did it really happen? He stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen, while angry tears were streaming down his face, mixing along with the raindrops that still were falling from his wet hair. He couldn't understand why Jinyoung was so selfish? His breath became shallow as he fell on the floor, broken and confused, why did Jinyoung left him just when he needed him by his side? Why did he leave when Mark loves him so much?_

  
Mark's eyes watered at the realization what an asshole he was back  then for not even running after Jinyoung that evening. At that time he couldn't  understand fully what Jinyoung's problem was, but as he tried to reminisce  the times they were together while being at work, he slowly came to realize what an asshole he was.

When a day later Wonpil - _Jinyoung's best friend -_  came to grab Jinyoung's things from the apartment, Mark knew it was really the end.

_"Huh, you're at home? I thought the apartment will be ampty since you're working so diligently at the company," Wonpil scoffed, after he entered the apartment using the key-code Jinyoung probably gave him, making Mark grit his teeth. In fact he wouldv'e been at work today, but for the first time he felt drained, the whole night he spend on crying instead of sleeping and now he was a zombie. He went to work only to grab his phone to see a bunch of missed calls from Jinyoung and a few messages from him. Every one of them with time before their breakup._

_"Where's Jinyoung?" He wasn't going to lie, Mark partly hoped Jinyoung would come home when Mark would be at work; the dissapointment he felt when he saw Wonpil was undescribable. Mark shoul've predicted it - Jinyoung was stubborn, just like Mark was._

_"Forget about him." He said as he passed by Mark to a closet confidently, seems like Jinyoung instructed him what things he should get. "Jinyoung won't come. He's leaving to Japan to follow his dreams. I mean, if you even know what those were-"_

_"Is this funny to you?" Mark barked, having no mood to deal with Wonpil's remarks._

_"It is for me, but it's not for Jinyoung. You don't deserve such a great guy Jinyoung is. That's why I'm happy Jinyoung finally left you,"_

_"What do you mean finally?"_

_"Do you think he didn't think about it before? Were you always so oblivious to everything that's not your fancy job?" Wonpil shook his head, "You're impossible. You took him for granted. I'm glad he opened his eyes." He said, while packing Jinyoung's clothes to a bag. Mark stood frozen in the doorway of the bedroom as he tried to put everything together. Was he hurting Jinyoung that much? Was Jinyoung thinking of leaving him for a long time? How couldn't he notice it?_

_Jinyoung didn't care about fancy things, he had never complained about their old car that barely kept together, he didn't complain about their small apartment, or that the paint was starting to get off of its walls. Jinyoung cared about Mark, and even though Mark cared about Jinyoung just as much, he couldn't show it properly. He didn't listen to Jinyoung at all. He was selfish._

_"Don't you dare to mess with his head again. He has a good future in front of him, don't bring him down. Just let him go." Wonpil spoke after he packed all the things he needed to._

_But before he left the apartment, he turned to Mark with a fake smile, "Oh, and Happy Birthday. The gift Jinyoung got especially for you will haunt him for the rest of his life, poor him." And he left. Mark never knew what Wonpil meant by that, was the break-up a gift?_

  
Mark was broken. He had to let Jinyoung go, he couldn't stop him from making his dreams come true. As much as it would hurt him, he knew Wonpil was right - Mark would only bring him down.

Days after the breakup, he couldn't function properly on a daily basis and he started to oversleep to work, eat less and couldn't focus on anything at all. The company, that Mark sacrificed so much of his time and health to, fired him after a few weeks, but, surprisingly, _Mark didn't care_. He stayed at home, and instead of moving on from his past relationship and have fun with his friends, getting drunk in one of Seoul's clubs, he preferred lying in bed all day and torture himself with regrets of letting Jinyoung go. At some point he even stopped taking showers and changing his clothes, because every time he saw his naked chest and the tattoo of his ex-boyfriend inked right on his heart, he hated himself even more; _the name burned on his skin, as the longing deepened_.

One day Jackson barged into his apartment and helped him out of his slump. He started to meet with people, Jackson and Youngjae were clingy and stubborn to take him out of his apartment every Friday. And he tried to enjoy his time being out, even though it barely helped.

One evening Youngjae, who was his and Jinyoung's mutual friend  from university - confessed to him. Mark knew the younger was interested in him even when he was still with Jinyoung, it showed in his actions and soft smiles he would send his way, but now when Mark was sure of it, now when he was single, he decided to go for it. 

Mark, being the biggest idiot he was, didn't stop the younger from  devouring his lips and spending the night with him that night. Youngjae was clingy and touchy and very eager to make Mark forget about the whole world. And Mark, indeed, wanted to forget about the world so bad - _the world that was Park Jinyoung_. 

Youngjae was a total sweetheart; even though he had his own problems, the younger had bright personality and a positive approach to the world around him, full with hope for better days. The sad and bitter Mark needed  a person like this in his life after all that happened; he needed an adorable and happy Choi Youngjae.

Their relationship lasted a few weeks and ended silently, even before their friends could find out about them being together; they refused to go official in front of them, just as if the two of them knew it wasn't going to last long. Mark felt bad for Youngjae and he kept apologizing to him, because, apparently, Youngjae knew Jinyoung wasn't totally out of Mark's heart as the older claimed at the beginning of their relationship. But Youngjae wasn't stupid.

This short episode brought them closer together, but not as lovers, but as friends - Youngjae became the friend Mark needed the most in his life while dealing with Jinyoung's absence.

And they stayed friends till now. But even though Mark was happy for Youngjae for finding Jaebum - _the real love of his life_ \- he couldn't help but to think about the way he could shirk away from attending his wedding, because he was sure the certain Choi Youngjae won't let him live for the entire party knowing Mark didn't exchange even a word with Jinyoung.

 

 

 

"I can't believe I'm getting married!" Youngjae squealed, while Mark was  adjusting his bowtie. Actually, just _trying_ to adjust it, because his hands  were shaking and became moist with the anxiety that engulfed him. He couldn't focus at all. Youngjae snickered, seeing Mark's nervous face expression. "Hey, just- just let me do that myself-"

"Let me help you, baby," Suddenly Jaebum appeared in the room, wearing his wedding suit, his hair gelled up, revealing his wide forehead. Mark could even notice a bit of eyeliner on his small eyes. Youngjae's face flushed deeply as the elder approached him, and reached for his bowtie to adjust it, replacing the anxious groomsman.

"H-hyung! You can't see me before the wedding, it brings bad luck-"

"Huh, does it count for guys, too? Are you my bride, Youngjae-ah?" He  snuggled his nose into Youngjae's neck, before noticing Mark standing   nervously in the middle of the room. "Hey, what's wrong with you, Mark? It's our wedding, why do you seem more nervous than we are?" He laughed, making  Mark roll his eyes.

"He's still angry because I invited his ex to our wedding. You know, I told  you about Park Jinyoung,"

"Ah, _the one!_ The one he has a name of on his chest? I remember,"  Jaebum chuckled, Youngjae joining him with his loud laugh, "Ayy, you're  so naughty, baby-"

"Yah! Are you having fun making fun of me?!" Mark grunted, making the two of them even more amused.

"A bit, actually-" Jaebum chuckled, earning a hit on the chest from Youngjae, who had a hard time stopping his own fit of laughter, when the doors of the small room opened and Jaebum's mother came with a scandalous expression on her face.

"Jaebum-ah! What are you doing here!? You can't be here right now, you  can't see each other before the wedding ceremony!"

"Ah, mother-"

"I know you miss him, but just endure a bit!" Jaebum's mother dragged  Jaebum out of the room, smiling tenderly at Youngjae. "There's a few minutes left, sweetie," 

"Yes!" He bowed, and it was Mark's turn to chuckle, Youngjae still wasn't that comfortable around Jaebum's parents which was pretty cute in his opinion; Youngjae was still acting like a sweetheart in front of them, they didn't know what a brat he actually was. Mark will hold the grudge against him for the rest of his life for inviting Jinyoung and making his life miserable.

When the pair left the room, the doors opened again, this time revealing the anxious best man - Youngjae's brother, who started to nag at him the moment he entered the room.

"Why your bow tie isn't adjusted yet?! Yah! What were you doing for the  whole time! We don't have time! Everyone's here already! Do I have to  think about everything?!" Mark froze at the mention of " _everyone_ " and his  heart started to beat faster, if it's possible. He wasn't ready to meet Jinyoung after all those years, _it was too quickly for him! What if he's still so handsome? What if he moved on already? What if he has someone else? What if he'll come with this person to the wedding?_ Mark wasn't strong enough to survive it. He would like it better to just  stay in this room for the whole ceremony and never leave this place so  he couldn't know the answers to the questions that bothering him and  make his heart break once again.

 

 

 

Mark, along with other guests, took a seat on white wooden chairs  gathered on either side of the aisle at the wedding venue while waiting  for the couple; the soft piano music played in the background (Mark  recognized the song right away despite the softer, piano version - it was Ed  Sheeran's " _Perfect"_ ; the song Youngjae had been crazy about lately). Mark's  heartbeat was restless, as he tried to relax his nerves involving himself  in small talk with Youngjae's parents and aunt, who were sitting beside  him. He looked around the beautifully decorated room, white flowers  were attached to every seat and the white petals were sprawled on the  carpet leading to the flowery wedding arch where the official was talking with the best men of the grooms. The suite had a spectacular floor to ceiling views of the shoreline and a large balcony with stunning elevated views over it. Mark would love to approach the windows and enjoy the view, but couldn't, when suddenly people stopped speaking to each other to take pictures and admire the unforgettable moment as the handsome  grooms - _Jaebum and Youngjae_ \- entered the room. Mark smiled at the  happiness on his best friends' faces, as the couple slowly and elegantly walked down the aisle to finally tie the knot.

He wouldn't want to admit  his eyes wandered over the crowd of people, searching for Jinyoung.

 

 

 

Fortunately ( _or not at all_ ), Jinyoung was nowhere to be seen when the ceremony started. M _aybe Mark just couldn't catch him in the crowd of  people in the wedding parlor, or maybe he changed so much Mark wasn't able to recognize him?_ Or - _the option made Mark's heart sink_ \-  he just didn't come to Youngjae's wedding. In contrast to what he had  thought before (the plan Mark had, was to avoid Jinyoung at any costs),  Mark would want to see Jinyoung, even from a distance. Just to see he's  alive and well. But knowing he won't be there made him disappointed.  He missed him, even if Jinyoung still hates him. 

"I, Jaebum-" Jaebum squeezed Youngjae's hands in his own as the  wedding vows began, "-freely and with love and sincere desire, take  you, Choi Youngjae, to become my wedded husband for better, for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death," He recited, his movements were  a bit jerky, as he tried to put a silver ring on Youngjae's finger, but succeed only by the second time, earning a small giggle from his soon-to-be  husband standing in front of him. It was the first time Mark saw Jaebum blush - he decided to use the scene against him whenever Jaebum will  tease him about anything in the future. 

When it was Youngjae's turn, it was visible how the younger's nerves got the best out of him. He took the second ring and looked at the ceiling, preventing his tears to fall, but as soon as he did that, Jaebum reached  for his cheek and brushed his fingers over the skin softly, encouraging him without words. Youngjae chuckled, embarrassed, as the first tears escaped from his eyes.

"I, Youngjae, take you, Im Jaebum to be my husband... " He paused, clearing his throat, to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat. Mark smiled at his friend, as the warmth spread in his chest. _Youngjae deserves to be this happy._ "I- I promise you to be your biggest fan and  your partner in crime. I promise to create and support a family with you  in a house filled with laughter, patience, understanding and... l-love. I- I will love you faithfully through the difficult and easy, whatever may come,  I'll always be there... As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my  life to keep," He finally vowed and put the ring on Jaebum's finger, constantly sniffing and giving up on stopping his tears at the same time, as they streamed over his flushed cheeks like a water from a broken dam. Jaebum tried to wipe them all with his hands, smiling widely at  his adorable husband, as the crowd of guests aww'ed in endearment at the charming couple.

"Now that Jaebum and Youngaje, have given themselves to watch other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving the rings, I pronounce that they are husbands." The official stated, and before the two of them received the cue to kiss, their lips connected in a sweet and tender kiss, while the people gathered stood up from their  seats, cheering for the couple. Mark chuckled, clapping his hands in unison with the rest of the people seeing the way the two of them look at each other - the adoration and complete devotion sparkling in their eyes after they broke their first kiss as a married couple.

His smile faltered when he nonchalantly looked around; _his heart stopped and the breath caught in his throat the moment he noticed  Jinyoung slipping through the curtain of the wedding parlor, clapping and smiling warmly._

 

 

 

After the ceremony ended, the guests were welcomed to the dining suite that was located on the same floor as the room the wedding took place. The waiters walked around, offering the welcome toast with a glass of champagne as the guests have been led to their respectable tables, signed with their names.

Mark hadn't gone to his own table yet; before he could even recover from the shock of seeing Jinyoung, Yugyeom approached him asking for his help with transferring the flowers and gifts to the other room. He nodded unconsciously, he couldn't think straight; he was torn apart between escaping the building because Jinyoung was here or running up to him to lock him in his arms and never let him go. In the end he was  glad that Yugyeom - who was Jaebum's best man - asked him instead of Youngjae's brother who should team up with since the two of them had the same responsibilities; he needed a distraction from his ex, who looked as stunning as ever. Mark was sure Youngjae was smart enough to sign him to the table where Jinyoung was also sitting, and he tried to  busy himself with everything and anything just to avoid Jinyoung some more - his legs nearly gave up as if they were made of jelly, seeing how gorgeous Jinyoung looks. _How could he possibly stay calm sitting close  next to him?_

 

Mark was currently arranging champagne bottles in the back, while the  newlyweds and the guests started dancing. He was peeking through the small crack at Jinyoung from time to time, who was talking and laughing with Jackson and Bambam, who were also sitting by their table. The seat next to Jinyoung, which Mark was supposed to take, still stayed unoccupied.

Yugyeom came into the room, startling Mark a bit.

"Okay, hyung, thanks for helping me out, everything is such a mess, I'm still new to it, I've never been a best man in my life," Yugyeom whispered, his hands shaking slightly from the excitement and nervousness at once, "Please don't tell Jaebum-hyung you helped me with those, he'll be disappointed I couldn't take it by myself," He whined, and Mark chuckled, he had his own interest in helping him anyway, he wanted to avoid a certain someone - but also drink a bit of extra champagne in secret. He couldn't be sober dealing with Jinyoung. _Oh, no, no_.

"Of course, that's okay. I didn't do much anyway,"

"You should go now, I'll take it myself from now on!" Yugyeom stated and Mark tensed, _this is the end of him._ He'll see Jinyoung again, see him up close, after three years- the younger pushed him out of the room, breaking the monologue in his head, as he threw him to the lions. "Go, go!"

 

With every step he took, Mark felt like his heart will burst out of his chest. His sweaty hands were tightened into a fist by his sides and his eyes were fixed on the wooden floor beneath him. People were dancing as he squeezed through them, smiling politely, but on the inside he was a _mess_.

"Finally! Where have you been?" Jackson asked, as Mark approached the table and took a free seat, just beside Jinyoung, avoiding him entirely. He felt everyone's gaze at him, but the most noticeable was Jinyoung's eyes, burning through his skull. _Oh my god_.

"Um, I had something important to do, you know, groom's man responsibilities," He answered awkwardly as he took another glass of champagne from the waitress passing by. Bambam chuckled.

"I guess Yugyeomie had problems with managing his tasks, am I right?"  Bambam snickered, and Mark nodded. He couldn't deny it in his face. Bambam was Yugyeom's best friend - no, they were _soulmates, twins_ \-  so even the way they thought was the same. Bambam knew everything about Yugyeom.

"You know him the best, Bambam," Jackson laughed, earning a familiar chuckle from beside Mark - Jinyoung's voice hadn't changed at all. Mark gulped the rest of the liquid instead of eating the delicious food he had on his plate, when Bambam spoke again.

"Oh, Mark-hyung, since you're here only now, meet Jinyoung, he's-"

"We know each other, right? Mark-hyung," Jinyoung spoke, the smooth tone of his voice made Mark turn his head towards him, finally taking a good look at Jinyoung. Their eyes meet instantly, like the opposite poles of the magnet; Jinyoung was looking as gorgeous as he remembered, _or even better?_ _More mature, but maybe it was the expensive suit he was wearing and his raven black hair tucked back made him look so stunning?_ Mark's heart skipped a beat and he couldn't trust his voice, he could only nod and fix his eyes on everything else that wasn't Jinyoung.

"Yah! Of course they know each other! Bambam, _seriously!_ " Jackson snapped, trying to avoid the awkward atmosphere which Bambam's statement brought over them - the only one who knew about Mark and Jinyoung's past relationship was Jackson and Youngjae. Bambam was clueless because they didn't know each other at that time.

"What? I didn't know!" 

"Jinyoung-ssi lives in Japan, right?" Jackson's best friend, Jia, which he came with to Youngjae's wedding as a plus one, spoke, quickly restoring a nice atmosphere by the table.

"Yeah, um, I'm a teacher at a university. I teach Korean,"

" _University?_ " Jiyeon, Bambam's friend giggled, "Wow! you have to be a heartthrob of the whole school, since you're so handsome!" She blushed, as she winked at him flirtatiously, but Jinyoung dodged her attempts cooly, as he turned to Mark again.

"What about you, hyung? What do you do for a living?" Jinyoung suddenly asked, and Mark had to swallow hard to be able to speak, but as always, Jackson was faster and answered instead of him.

"He works as an accountant. What a promotion from the biggest bank in Korea to a small company like this, right? How could you lose the job like that?" Jackson teased the eldest, entertaining the group of a few people by their  table, making them chuckle as if it was something funny. Mark rolled his eyes, trying to ignore them all. But apparently Jinyoung wasn't done in his attempts of talking to Mark. 

"You don't work for them anymore?" He asked, his dark eyes widened in surprise and Mark almost forgot to answer as he seemed to drown in the depth of them.

"Not anymore, they- they fired me," Mark answered, his heart still beating like crazy, but he felt himself relaxing a bit, as the champagne started to work in his brain. Even though he stared at his plate as he spoke, he didn't miss the pitiful smirk Jinyoung send his way - _his blood went cold_.

"Oh, well... You wouldn't quit by yourself, right? Since it was such a great job," Jinyoung said, his words dripped with sarcasm what made Mark realize that _yes - Jinyoung was mad at him. Jinyoung hated him._ He didn't know what to say,  so he smiled sheepishly and dug into the salad on his plate, trying to avoid Jinyoung's eyes for the rest of the evening.

 

 

 

He didn't exchange any words with Jinyoung after that.

The atmosphere was tensed, especially when Jackson went to the dance floor with Jia as soon as the band started to play another song after their small break and Bambam went to talk with guests as the social butterfly he was, leaving his friend Jiyeon alone with Mark and Jinyoung. 

Mark had kept on drinking the champagne, as he replaced his empty glass with a new one whenever the waiters were passing by their table. _It might not be the best way to try to avoid Jinyoung like this_ , _but Mark didn't know better_. It was really difficult for him, he had so many things to say to him, so many questions, which his sober self would only bury deeper and deeper in his heart. Even though he felt Jinyoung's stare on himself while the younger was talking with Jiyeon, laughing and flirting just in front of Mark, he couldn't bring himself to speak to Jinyoung just yet.

Trying to think about anything else for now, he watched how happy and elated Youngjae was, as he was dancing with Jaebum in the middle of the dancing floor; nestled comfortably in his husband's embrace. Even though Mark didn't show it, he was happy for his best friend. After all Youngjae went through, he deserved all the best in the world. _He deserved his happy ending._

"Um, hi, can I take you to the dance floor?" His thoughts were cut off, as Jaebum's cousin - short, red haired girl, whose name was Mijoo - came up to Mark with a shy smile. Mark really didn't want to dance. He couldn't dance. _He hated it!_ Especially when Jinyoung's stare didn't leave him for a second. Jinyoung hates him and Mark didn't want to be judged by him any more. Even though he told himself he won't get drunk, now he had to - he had to somehow survive the whole wedding party with Jinyoung by the table. He felt awkward rejecting the girl, he knew it wasn't okay, but he wasn't sure if he could walk without stumbling by now.

"Um, Sorry, I'll have to go to the toilet real quick-"

"I can dance with you if you want," He heard Jinyoung say, and he caught a glimpse of the girl's crimson red cheeks, nodding eagerly. Mark would lie if he said he didn't feel the familiar pang of jealousy burning through his stomach, seeing the way Jinyoung smiled at the girl. _Why, though? Jinyoung wasn't his anymore. Jinyoung could do anything he wanted now_. Mark didn't even know if Jinyoung is single... He needed a drink. A few of them actually.

 

 

 

He looked at himself in the mirror when he left the toilet. Although he tried not to think how the tattoo on his chest is slightly visible through his snow white shirt, he was looking okay. His hair wasn't that much ruffled as he thought it was and the black suit and shirt were still buttoned, so overall he didn't look like a total drunkard yet - though he started to feel like one, lightheaded and slightly dizzy.

When he entered the hall again, Jackson's voice startled him.

"Yah, what are you doing here?!" He asked, the younger was standing by the wall, drinking by himself and smiling to the guests as they were passing by him. "Where's Jinyoung!? Did you talk to him? Don't tell me you're avoiding him-"

"Why would I talk with Jinyoung?! We have nothing to talk about" _Why everyone suddenly want him to talk with Jinyoung? Why would he strain  himself to do it, while the younger hate him. He wouldn't send him those death stares if he didn't, right?_  
  
"Yah, you know Youngjae will kill you if he'll find out that you two aren't together again? He'll be so disappointed if I tell him that you didn't even tried to get him back-"

"Jackson, don't interfere-"

" _I can't believe you did that Bambam!_ " Yugyeom's high pitched voice caught them off guard, when Yugyeom and Bambam came up to them, breaking their conversation. Bambam was scratching the back of his head with embarrassment, while Yugyeom laughed with disbelief  beside him.

"How I supposed to know about it?! You didn't tell me this about Mark- hyung!" Bambam whined, and Mark's ears perked at the mention of his name.

"What happened?" Jackson turned his attention to them and Yugyeom shook his head, throwing a pitiful look at his best friend, who was now  avoiding everyone's gazes, blushing. 

"You know what he did? _Bambam hit on Park Jinyoung just now!_ He wanted to take him to his place!"

" _What?!_ "

"Yah! It's not my fault! He's hot! And... I didn't know he's Mark's ex, okay?!" Yugyeom laughed maniacally, almost throwing himself on the floor and rolling from the laughter. Bambam pushed him away, whining. "This is so embarrassing!"

" _Oh my god_ , he must've been frightened!" Jackson joined Yugyeom in teasing the younger, but Mark wasn't in the mood to laugh. He was only curious about one thing.

"How did he respond?" He asked. "Bambam, _what did he say?_ "

"Damn, this is embarrassing..." Bambam pouted. "He said he's not interested because he's taken," Mark felt a sharp pang piercing through his heart. He lowered his head, as he tried to stop the tears gathering in his eyes. _It wasn't like Mark hadn't predicted it, after all._ He knew Jinyoung moved on -  _of course he did, how could he be single if he's  such a great guy?_ But now, when all uncertainties have been dispelled, _when the greatest fears of Mark's were confirmed_ , he was speechless.

"He's... _taken?!_ " Jackson's eyes bugged out as pressed his hand to his  lips, while Mark snatched another glass of champagne from the waiter  and gulped it all at once. 

"Hey, don't drink so much! Younagje-hyung won't be happy about you occupying the toilet for the rest of the evening and throwing out instead of enjoying his happiness," Yugyeom said, but Jackson waved his hand.

"It's okay, he needs it. Especially now," He spoke softly, and handed him another glass of champagne before he realized that Mark's hands were occupied with two drinks already. "Wait, are you gonna drink them all!?"

"No, I don't like champagne that much,"

"Yeah, I see that. Oh, man," Jackson send him a worried glance, before patting him on his back a reassuringly, and leaving him alone with annoying thoughts in his head.

  
As soon as he entered the room after he recovered from the sudden news that left a scar on his already broken heart, his eyes immediately found Jinyoung  in the crowd of poeple on the dance floor, dancing with a few girls circling around him. _He's such a playboy, huh? Was he like this when they were together?_ Maybe Mark was too busy with his work to notice. He hung his head low. _His Jinyoung_ is taken - the Jinyoung he has a name of on his chest. Now, instead of being more laid back from the alcohol he drank and be able to have fun as he should, his head started to hurt, as his mood slowly worsened, as he drown in self pity.

 

 

 

A few more toasts later, Mark realized he has to be a mess, when even Youngjae peeled himself from his husband at one point just to come up to Mark and nag at him for getting so drunk. Mark was thankful for his care and he promised to not get wasted. 

_He wasn't sure if it wasn't too late now, though_.

 

 

 

When it was already dark and Jinyoung was nowhere to be found to distract his mind, Mark decided to go on the balcony, rejecting a few dance invitations on the way. He rested his hands on the railings as he closed his eyes, feeling the cool sea breeze blow on his heated cheeks. His head was spinning already and he decided to not drink that much anymore. _What if he'll do something disgusting and make Youngjae embarrassed?_ It was his big day, he shouldn't ruin it by his bitter self. 

". _..I miss you too_!" He heard a familiar voice from behind a pillar, "No, I promised you. We'll meet tomorrow." Mark was sure, it was Jinyoung's voice, but _who he was talking to?_ "Aww, I love you too... _No_ , I love you more, you know that!" Mark's heart dropped hearing how soft Jinyoung's voice was when he said that. He used to tell Mark he loves him too with that kind of voice, calm and mellow, full of admiration. Now Jinyoung uses it to another guy, _another person he loves._  

Mark sighed. If Jinyoung forgot about him so easily, _why was it so hard for Mark to him let go? He lived without Jinyoung for the past 3 years and he was doing okay, it wasn't like he can't live without him!_ Jinyoung moved on and Mark was the one who still lived in the past. _And maybe it was the tattoo on his chest that anchored him down to Jinyoung, preventing him from forgetting the beautiful memories he had with Jinyoung, making it impossible for him to forget him and  spare himself all that pain?_

" _Mark-hyung?_ " Jinyoung emerged from behind the pillar as he looked at Mark with surprise, his eyes sparkled, probably from the wind that blew into his face. Mark swallowed. _How can he let him go? He's gorgeous._ "The weathers nice, hm?" The younger asked, as he approached Mark and leaned on the railing just beside him. Mark's body stiffened, as he drew his lower lip between his teeth while his mind was screaming at him to do something, to fight for what he'd lost. T _hat maybe, just maybe Jinyoung would give him a chance?_ If he would only be honest with him and apologize - maybe he should say everything he wanted back then.   _Maybe that will help him forget and get rid of his regrets that haunted  him for the past years._ "Um, are you okay-?"

"I'm sorry," Mark began. He felt buzzed, the alcohol was flowing in his veins, giving him confidence and at the same time shearing him off of  his common sense piece by piece. 

"Hm?" Jinyoung tilted his head slightly. Mark tried so hard to get to the point and say all those things he regret not saying when Jinyoung was  leaving him three years ago, but having Jinyoung so close now, being able to feel his warmth, the scent of his cologne- Mark couldn't focus, as their gazes locked, the world around them started to slowly disappear.

"I-I'm sorry for being such a jerk back then," Mark swallowed a lump that started to form in his throat, the nervousness twisting his guts. "After you left I realized what an as*hole I was, I was too proud to admit that I f*cked up. I couldn't admit to my mistakes. I'm so sorry for everything, for ruining our relationship like that..." He said, casting his eyes down at his hands that were gripping on the railing. _He finally said it, but had it mattered to Jinyoung now, anyway?_ Jinyoung looked away from Mark, fixing his gaze on the horizon, sighing softly.

"Hyung, it's been 3 years-"

"I know! I should say this earlier-"

"It... it doesn't matter now, does it? It's good we've moved on after this, right?" _No, it wasn't okay at all!_ Mark wanted to say, as he reached to touch Jinyoung's arm to make a point to him, but before he could do that or even open his mouth, Yugyeom rushed to the balcony, panting.

" _Oh God, there you are!_ I've been searching for you two! Time for pictures!" 

Jinyoung nodded, and moved his feet towards the doors, leaving Mark behind without a word.

But before he entered the building, he stole a quick glance on Mark one last time.

 

 

  
The rest of the night passed in a blur. At some point Mark didn't even know how much he drank, _not that he cared._ He didn't like champagne, but he keep on drinking it whenever he could - he needed to forget about everything, he needed to behave like he didn't care about Jinyoung's presence, but in fact, _it was getting more difficult to ignore him._

He sighed, swallowing the rest of the liquid in his glass and tried to stand up, but suddenly his head started spinning and his legs were too weak to keep up the posture as he slipped into the chair again.

" _Whoa, whoa,_ hyung, I think you should go home already-" He heard Bambam's voice, but ignored him, swatting his hands away from him. _He was fine_.

"I'm fine," He muttered, as he stubbornly tried to stand up again - where he wanted to go, he didn't know. He just felt like he needed to go somewhere. Certainly not to go search for Jinyoung, who he hasn't seen for a while now. 

"Mark-hyung, Bambam's right, you drank too much," Youngjae with Jaebum by his side emerged from the crowd of people that were still  having fun and dancing, laughing and talking with each other. "Do you want to go home? I'll call you a taxi," _NO!_ He wanted to stay longer with  Youngjae and getting drunk on his happiness, but he also couldn't go home without Jinyoung's actual image engraved in his mind again, he  didn't want to leave without speaking to him one last time, before their  paths will separate once again.

"I'm fine, r-really," Mark spoke, as Youngjae tried to stabilize him on his feet, holding him up by his arms, "Y-Youngjae, I'm so happy for you..." It was amazing seeing how happy and valued Youngjae was, seeing the younger like this made Mark's conscience worse for treating him like a  substitute of Jinyoung for a few weeks when they were together. Youngjae was precious, he deserved to be loved, and suddenly Mark felt the urge to nag about it to Jaebum. 

"Yah, Jaebum-ah-"

"Hm? Are you going to cry again?" Jaebum snickered beside Youngjae, seeing Mark's glassy eyes.

"I am! What about it?! I'll cry if I want to, okay?!" He threw his hands in  the air, "And you- You better treat him well, because if not-"

"I know, you'll choke me in my sleep, you told me that before," Jaebum laughed, before he turned to Youngjae with the softest smile Mark had  ever seen on his sharp features, "Of course I'll treat him well. I love him,"

"Awww, hyung," Youngjae moved his hands from Mark's arms to  rest on Jaebum's cheeks, and leaned in, stealing a gentle kiss from his husband's lips. "I love you too-"

"Mark-hyung!" Bambam gasped, seeing how Mark suddenly stumbled on his feet, losing his balance and almost falling if not the strong arms holding him by his waist from behind. Mark knew right away it was Jinyoung.

"Hyung, I'll call you a taxi." Youngjae stated, after he pulled away from Jaebum, and in a second a worry overtook his face, as he spoke to Jinyoung, "Jinyoung-hyung, could you-"

" _No_ ," Mark said stubbornly, unconsciously lying into Jinyoung's arms, "I-  I'm not going home-"

"Youngjae, don't worry, I'll send him home," Jinyoung said, and Mark couldn't help but felt a shiver running down his spine when Jinyoung's  warm breath touched Mark's skin, along with his beautiful mellow voice that dashed into his ears. Mark's heart was thumping against his chest as his cheeks' color deepened. He noticed Jinyoung was sober, he  haven't changed if it came to drinking, huh? It was always Jinyoung who took care of Mark when he was drunk, Jinyoung didn't drink at parties and today wasn't an exception.

"Thank you, hyung," Youngjae smiled, "Thank you for coming, it meant a  lot," he added, and Mark doesn't really remember what happened after that because of Jinyoung's smile - Mark was melting at the sight of it. He only realized after a second that he was left alone with him, as the younger tried to help him walk, embracing him by his shoulder. 

Mark's drunkenness started to evolve into sleepiness.

"Leave me alone," Mark grumped.

"You're drunk, let me just take you to the cab at least,"

"I'm not going home yet," Mark didn't matter to Jinyoung anymore. _Why would he care if he gets home safely or not?_

"But what do you want to do? You can't even walk by yourself," The younger chuckled, and for once Mark couldn't argue about that. Jinyoung was right, as he always was. Mark always found comfort in Jinyoung being like that - decisive, confident and smart - everything Mark wasn't. He felt safe with him and it was the feeling he craved for the most. _He missed him so much._

 

 

 

Mark felt blasted.

He was sitting on the bench in front of the wedding parlor, but he's sure  he fell asleep on the way here, because he had no idea how did he get  here in the first place. He sighed as he leaned his back on the back of  the bench, his head was heavy and he had trouble keeping his eyes open, but when Jinyoung abruptly leaned over him, his face close and eyes fixed on something on Mark's chest, Mark suddenly sobered up.

" _The tattoo,_ " Jinyoung whispered, as disbelief dawned on his face. Mark realized his shirt was opened - a few top buttons were unbuttoned. The breath caught in his throat.

"W-what about it?" He asked, feigning nonchalance, but his hands  started shaking as he grabbed the shirt, trying to cover the damn tattoo with the cloth clumsily without waiting to embarrass himself even more. Jinyoung's eyes rose up to Mark's face, as if trying to read him.

"It's still there, you didn't cover it up by now," His eyes were so beautiful, bright and glassy, the light from a nearby street lamp reflecting in them, " _Why?_ " 

Mark swallowed. _Should he tell the truth?_

It wasn't like Mark didn't want to cover it up, to get rid of it somehow.  Apart from Youngjae, who knew his past and situation, it would be  awkward for his future lovers stare at the name of another man on their  boyfriend's chest whenever things became intimate, _right?_ He went to  several tattoo studios to cover it with another tattoo, so the name  wouldn't be visible - he dealt with people's pitiful stares and teasing  laughs whenever he showed them what he needed to cover - names of  past lovers were apparently a common tattoo they were covering up, but _it was the cheesiest place one could tattoo their lover's name on_ \- he heard once, and Mark agreed. _It was cheesy as heck._ Whenever he wanted to erase Jinyoung along with the tattoo, he felt even worse. He didn't want to forget these memories, he didn't want to cover it up. He still loved Jinyoung and if he couldn't have him because he let him go like a f*cking moron, at least he could have his name on his chest to have something to hold onto, even though it hurt. So before he could decide on a design of the tattoo, he was running out of the studio with Jinyoung's name still on his skin. 

Mark fixed his eyes on Jinyoung's, who waited patiently for the answer, and he seemed to be a bit surprised, as his brows raised, when Mark finally replied, shying away from him: "Because I didn't want to,"

Before Jinyoung could react and laugh in Mark's face about it, about _how dumb he was, still hoping for impossible, after all they went though, after three years_ \- the taxi arrived, beeping at them impatiently.

 

 

 

The taxi ride was quiet. Mark's body filled with a weird feeling of excitement, nervousness, as the butterflies were flying in his stomach restlessly, after Jinyoung got into the taxi with him. He had no time questioning it - even though Mark was drunk, he still felt lightheaded, he couldn't look straightly at Jinyoung. After all those years the younger still  made him shy, as his hands were sweating whenever Jinyoung's eyes landed on him.

His surprise deepened when they arrived in front of Mark's apartment complex.

When Mark's head was spinning and the drunken exhaustion get in the way, making his sight hazy, he struggled to get out of the car - the doors on his side suddenly opened, revealing a smiling Jinyoung who reached his hand out, offering him his help. Mark's heart skipped a beat and he couldn't say no, even if he could form any sort of response in his  state. His heart filled with baseless hope and before he could realize Jinyoung is helping him because Youngjae had asked him, _that Jinyoung  was just being polite,_ he took his hand without a word, letting Jinyoung take care of him, once again.

Jinyoung's hold on his waist was strong, and whenever Mark's feet tangled in each other, he tried to stabilize him, chuckling lowly. Mark was embarrassed, but he would ignore it and even stumble some more just to hear Jinyoung's laugh so close again. Any signs of shame disappeared at this point.

 

When they arrived in front of Mark's apartment, Jinyoung was already tapping the key-code, even before Mark would give it to him. 

"It's still my birthday, huh?" Jinyoung giggled, when the doors opened. Mark was speechless, it was always Jinyoung's birthday date - he  managed to show Jinyoung once again tonight how deeply he was buried in their past, when they were still together. _But it wasn't funny, not really;_   _not when Jinyoung moved on from it, make a life in Japan and  being in a happy relationship with a person who wasn't Mark._ _Was it funny to Jinyoung that he loved him even now, when everything that once was between them was supposed to be forgotten a long time ago?_

 

When Jinyoung helped Mark into the apartment, he led him to the living  room, seating him on the sofa carefully and leaving him,  making Mark confused and scared momentarily, that _Jinyoung left the apartment before he could apologize to him, before he could explain everything_ \- his train of thought got cut off after a second,  when Jinyoung returned with a glass of water and pack of aspirin in his hands.

"I thought you hate champagne," Jinyoung teased, as he moved towards Mark. Mark swallowed and before he could stop himself, he blurted out:

"A-are you happy with him?" Jinyoung's eyebrows raised at Mark's question, but the elder couldn't look at him for any further reaction and lowered his gaze on the beige carpet underneath his feet. He was scared of the answer, he had no idea why was he talking about other the guy Jinyoung loved, but he couldn't think straight, when the alcohol still was flowing in his veins. _After he started, he couldn't stop now._ The walls around his heart started to break and unasked questions and regrets  spilled out like a water through the crack, bursting his heart open completely. "Does he love you? Does he take care of you well?" He asked, hearing Jinyoung sigh, as he handed the glass of water and an aspirin to Mark - _his thoughtful and sweet Jinyoungie._   _How can he stop hoping for his own happy ending when Jinyoung treats him so well?_  
  
"I hope he loves me, he used to say that a lot," Jinyoung answered after a second. He stood in place, looking down at Mark, as if he was waiting  for another question. 

But Mark had no intention to ask any more. His heart sank. He wordlessly took the aspirin and gulped it down obediently. _Why is he so caring, even now?_ He lowered his eyes to the floor again, feeling the salty tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"Do you want to hear how we've met? This is actually pretty embarrassing story," Jinyoung asked suddenly, and honestly, Mark didn't want to hear any more about the other guy, but he chose to not say anything since his voice would give him away how hurt he was, how broken he felt. Jinyoung crouched down as if he was ready to tell him the funniest and the most endearing story in front of Mark who still avoided his gaze. _A fairy tale of how Jinyoung met the real love of his life, the love that wasn't Mark._ "I knew him by sight, I saw him around a lot, we waited at the same bus station every day. We never spoke to each other, only stood next to each other, stealing glances..." Mark hated how dreamy Jinyoung's voice became, "I was surprised when one day he was staring at me. Like, _really_ staring. I was confused, I thought, _what does he want from me? Am I that handsome he can't get his eyes off me?_ " He chuckled, making Mark smile sadly, as the first tears spilled out of his  eyes - he was thankful the room was only lit by a nightlight standing  at the small table beside the sofa he was sitting on. Jinyoung was oblivious, as he continued the story. "Honestly... I felt a bit shy too, because he himself was really cute - wearing those large jumpers, which made him look like he was drowning in them, but so warm and cozy at  the same time..." He said softly, but Mark tightened his jaw, swallowing the incoming, pathetic sob, as his heart continued to break into tiny pieces. "The bus was crowded, and I'm not going to lie, I was staring at him from time to time too, but secretly, so when at one point I noticed he stood up from his seat and moved in my direction, squeezing through the crowd of people, I felt like my heart is going to burst - my hands started to sweat and all - but you know what he told me when he finally  approached me? He smiled this angelic and beautiful smile of his... and  I swear I was ready to confess to him right on the spot..." Jinyoung said,  touching Mark's hand that was lying on his knee, as if he tried to draw his attention, but Mark was frozen. His tears stopped, as his mind was working on high speed, despite his intoxicated state. _This story seemed  so familiar..._ "You know what he told me? ' _Hey,_   _I'm sorry, but you have a dead leaf on your head, I decided to let you know, since you look pretty funny with it on your head.'_ Can you imagine?! I was so embarrassed. I was getting so worked up about him approaching me, because I thought he's going to ask me out or something, but he did that because I had the freaking leaf on my head!" Jinyoung laughed, and despite the fact Mark's cheeks were still wet from the tears he cried, he raised his head to look at Jinyoung, who was shaking his head in amusement, the crinkles around his eyes  visible. 

_But the story..._  

This story is the story how he spoke to Jinyoung for the first time. Mark remembered it, even though he might be drunk as hell now, he wouldn't ever forget it. He remembered it, every detail - it was the beginning of November when he finally gathered up the courage to approach his long time crush. He fell in love with Jinyoung the moment he saw him in the hallways of the university. Mark was a sophomore while Jinyoung was in his first year back then. 

_Why does Jiyoung telling it now? Why does he hurt him like that?! It's not  likely he met his new boyfriend the same way!_  

"J-Jinyoung, w-why are you doing this to me? Why are you teasing me like that?" He slurred, his tone challenging - his tear-stricken cheeks  warmed up, as soon as their eyes met.

" _Why?_ " Jinyoung asked no one in particular, before he squeezed Mark's hand lightly, "Maybe because I want to take revenge on you? For letting me go? For not fighting to get me back three years ago?" Jinyoung  looked disheartened, as he let go of his hand and run his fingers through  his hair instead, murmuring, "You don't even trying now, when I'm right in  front of you..." Mark suddenly sobered up.

"T-That's because you're in a relationship! How could I try?" 

"That's what that lanky guy told you? _Bambam_ , was it?" Jinyoung chuckled, when Mark didn't deny, "I thought so. Well... The thing is - he's  not my type, so I had to say something. Saying I'm taken was the easiest way out,"

"But- But I heard your conversation with your boyfriend, back then on the  balcony-"

"That was my mom," Jinyoung stated and Mark's jaw went slack  suddenly. 

" _W-what?_ " He whispered, as he stared at Jinyoung in disbelief, studying his face speechlessly. Jinyoung's lips curved into a smile slightly, as he slowly, _a bit hesitantly_ , brushed his hand on Mark's calf. 

"The conversation you heard on the balcony. It was my mom. I came here just after I landed from Japan, so I couldn't meet with her yet." He explained calmly, still crouching in front of the elder. Mark's eyes watered again - he couldn't handle the influx of information, his emotions had gone crazy, overwhelming him. He swallowed.

"S-so... y-you're..." He was beyond caring about the sobs that escaped  his throat at this point.

"Yeah." Jinyoung's eyes flickered with tears, but his face lit up nevertheless when Mark reached his hands to Jinyoung's cheeks, holding them tenderly, as if he would disappear the next moment. Now when he knew that Jinyoung was single, he needed to be honest -  honest with himself and with Jinyoung. _He had to tell him everything._

"J-Jinyoung," He began, "J-Jinyoung-ah-" Jinyoung nodded, encouraging Mark to continue, as he smiled, listening attentively; his  hands reaching up to cover Mark's, which were still on his cheeks, "I'm sorry I let you go like that- Jinyoung... The truth is- Whenever I tried to move on and fall in love with someone else... I couldn't- I couldn't move on." He closed his eyes, the tears spilling out of them as he did so. His  heart thumped firmly against his chest, making his breath shaky, as he  tried to explain everything at once. "A-and I'm sorry if you didn't feel like I cared about you, But I did! I loved you so much, Jinyoung-ah," He confessed, but after a second, his shoulders sagged at the realization that regardless of how Jinyoung is acting right now, how warm his hands over his own are, how gentle his gaze is - Jinyoung doesn't belong here anymore, he lives in Japan now. "I-I shouldn't drink so much, you  probably don't care anymore, you moved on, you live in Japan-"

"What about now?" Jinyoung asked, pulling away Mark's hands away from his face, but still holding them tenderly. "What about... what about your feelings? Have they changed?"

"No, they never changed," Mark said without missing a beat, his stomach clenching with nerves, especially when Jinyoung let go of  Mark's hands and started to fiddle with a watch on his wrist - _did Jinyoung just reject him?!_ Mark raised his hand out to grab Jinyoung's hands again without thinking - but when Jinyoung showed him his wrist, after he detached the watch, Mark gasped. 

"Good," Jinyoung said, "Because... I- I couldn't move on too," He added, as Mark stared at the skin of Jinyoung's wrist, his eyes recognized the familiar Chinese letters inked on it - _Yi-en_.

"That's..." He couldn't believe his own eyes. Jinyoung tattooed Mark's name on his wrist, on his body - Jinyoung, always proper and correct -   _went to get a tattoo of Mark's name._ The elder touched the soft skin of Jinyoung's wrist and refused to let go, his eyes still staring at the letters. Jinyoung loved him that much?

"I went to get it about two days before we broke up. I wanted to show it to you on your birthday. Cheesiest gift ever, right? To show you how much you mean to me... I could even decline my internship in Japan if you asked," He said, before he drew his lower lip between his teeth, looking at the tattoo. Recognition dawned on Mark's face, as the random memory flashed before his eyes. _Was it the gift Wonpil talked about back then?  The gift that would haunt Jinyoung for the rest of his life? A tattoo of  Mark's name?_ Jinyoung continued. "I got angry at you and... At that time I was angry because it seemed to me that I could give up everything for you, while all  you cared about was work, but- But I know now I was selfish. I couldn't  understand that it was your dream to work at that company, I couldn't understand that you wanted to make me happy, too,"

"N-No, I should listen to you, I was dumb," he said, looking into  Jinyoung's eyes; he didn't realize Jinyoung was crying, until now. He slipped from the sofa, sinking to his knees, right in front of Jinyoung. He placed his hands on both sides of Jinyoung's neck, his thumbs brushing  on his skin lightly, "I-I wanted to have a stable future with you, I didn't  want us to struggle with money or anything, but... after you left I realized that it wasn't the most important part... I realized I could be homeless, but if I had you, it would be okay," He whispered. His his breaths quickened,  as he felt the touch of Jinyoung's hands, brushing on his waist, feeling  the spark of electricity going through his entire body.

"Why didn't you call me?" Jinyoung asked silently, hesitantly, his lips formed a pout.

"I-" Mark swallowed, "I thought you hate me, you didn't want to see me again- you said that yourself, Wonpil told me to let you go because I would bring you down and I knew he was right-"

" _God!_ Why do you always taking everyone's words so seriously?"  Jinyoung scrunched up his face, sulking, and Mark couldn't control his  body anymore as he leaned in and wrapped his hands around Jinyoung's neck tightly, burying his nose into his skin. 

"Because I knew I f*cked up and I knew you wouldn't forgive me for all  this time you wasted on me... because I couldn't forgive myself," he  mumbled against Jinyoung's neck, tickling his skin with his warm breath. _Mark felt so safe, embracing him like this, he missed him so much, his  warmth, his scent-_

" _Hyung_ ," Jinyoung whispered; Mark felt the vibration of Jinyoung's voice  against his chest, when the younger leaned into Mark, his arms  enfolding his body into a warm and strong embrace. 

"I'm sorry for everything, if I could turn back time I-"

"You don't have to turn back time, because I'm here now," Jinyoung spoke softly.

"But you'll leave, you live in Japan now-"

"I lied... I lied that I'm doing good and everything's fine, because I wanted to show you that I moved on, that I'm perfectly fine without you... but I'm not,"

"You..." Mark pulled away, his eyes sparkling, as Jinyoung beamed at  him, " _Jinyoung-ah..._ "

In the rush of emotions, Mark grabbed his cheeks and collided his lips  with Jinyoung's abruptly, knocking him down on the carpet, kissing him feverishly. Jinyoung's eyes were closed tightly and he didn't hesitate to  return the kiss as he gave Mark a sign that he wasn't the only one who waited for this to happen - he grabbed Mark's neck, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss, before rolling them over on the floor, settling himself on top of  the elder, straddling him. He pulled away from Mark slightly; their lips just barely touching.

"I missed you," He breathed into Mark's lips, " _I missed you so much, hyung,_ " and closed their distance completely once again, before Mark could  respond to him that, _yes, I missed you too, Jinyoungie._

 

 

 

Mark woke up early in the morning, when it was still dark outside. He rubbed his eyes sleepily just to open them and smile immediately, when his eyes found the person his heart belonged to, tucked in the sheets on his side comfortably. Mark's hangover went unnoticed, when he was lying in bed  next to Jinyoung, whose bare arm was lying across his name tattooed on Mark's chest, as his steady breath hit the skin of Mark's shoulder. _Jinyoung was here, it wasn't a dream._ Mark turned on his side and wrapped his  hands around Jinyoung's body - the younger snuggled into his chest, his  cheek pressing towards the place where Mark's tattoo was - _a place  where Jinyoung was suppose to be from the beginning, a place Jinyoung shouldn't ever leave._

"Hyung, you're gonna suffocate me," Jinyoung mumbled sleepily, but instead of escaping his embrace, the younger leaned into the touch even more,  wrapping his leg around Mark's naked body. Mark chuckled, kissing the top of his head, buried under the sheets.

" _Jinyoungie_ ," He spoke, as the unanswered question started to fly around in his head. Even though he knew it could kill the serene atmosphere they were in at the moment, Mark wanted to know the  answers.

"Hm?"

"Did I hurt you badly?" He asked, uncertainty evident in his voice, as the  duvet heaved and Jinyoung's head appeared from beneath it. He  peered blearily at him, as if he was processing the question, thinking  about what did he mean, before a tight lipped smile appeared on his  face.

"I was unhappy, sometimes. But every couple goes through hardships, aren't they?" He asked quietly, splaying his hands across Mark's lower back, and pressing his cheek to his chest once more, "I guess I was a  bit spiteful on that day when I broke up with you- I... I met your coworker,  Chaerin, and we talked a bit... she said you're coming to the party your  company was supposed to hold later that month. I was mad because  you were always so busy to go out with me and I endured it, but when I  heard you were going to be on the party with your coworkers I just lost  my mind, it made me jealous-"

" _Jinyoung_ ," Mark interrupted, pulling away from Jinyoung, to look at him  properly; _he couldn't believe it was the reason Jinyoung got mad back  then! It wasn't like Mark was a fan of parties, especially with people from work!_ "Listen, I've never been on any company gathering. _Never_ ," He  pleaded, cupping Jinyoung's cheeks tenderly. The younger nodded.

"You've never been on one. _Of course_." He chuckled sheepishly, his cheeks turning pink, as the embarrassment settled in, "You hated  things like that. I should've known better. But when she told me you agreed to be there I somehow believed her-"

"She was always so persistent about things like that. She was the one in charge of organizing it, I probably agreed to come, just so she would leave me alone," Mark explained, before leaning in and pecking Jinyoung's pouty lips. Mark was melting at the sight; Jinyoung's shy expression made Mark's heart  skip a beat. _Several times._ "I always wanted to spend every free second  with you, Jinyoung," 

"If- If I came-" Jinyoung tried, while Mark was continuously smothering his face in kisses, "If I came to take my stuff instead of sending Wonpil-  we could've talk it out, maybe- hey, stop-"

"I hoped you'll come personally-"

"I didn't want to see your face," Mark's body tensed as he stopped  kissing Jinyoung's lips successfully. Jinyoung hid his face into the crook of Mark's neck, "Even though I missed you..."

"I missed you too, so much, but Wonpil made me realize how much I hurt  you," He buried his hand in Jinyoung's hair, stroking it with his fingers, lulling Jinyoung to sleep.

"Wonpil never liked you in the first place." Jinyoung teased, "He might've been more rude than usually since I wasn't there to collect him,"  
Mark felt his lazy laugh vibrating through his chest, as he wrapped his hands around Jinyoung's body again.

"He did a good job, I was a selfish and unworthy trash after all. I realized what  I've had only when I lost it," He tightened his grip, "But I won't make the same mistake again." He promised, kissing the top of Jinyoung's head, the gesture made Jinyoung sigh in content, before the two of them fell asleep and once again.

 

 

 

"Oh my god, Mark! I can't believe it, what a mess!" Mark's eyes shoot open, as his body jolted upright, as if it was electrocuted - his head  started to throb at the sudden movement; a hangover after yesterday's  champagne didn't spare him, but he smiled as soon as he realized it  was Jinyoung's voice calling after him. Even though Jinyoung's probably isn't in a good mood, judging from the cold and frustrated tone of voice. Mark missed this side of him too - he was a cleaning addict, while Mark  was a total opposite in that aspect, so when Jinyoung saw in what state Mark's apartment was now, in a pure daylight, he knew, he wouldn't be too  happy. "When did you do your laundry? Does your washing machine even work? What- Oh my god, it stinks! Yah! Mark!" Mark chuckled, before he dragged his feet towards the bathroom, where Jinyoung  made a ruckus.

"Hello," He smiled, as he leaned on the door frame of the bathroom, his naked chest screamed Jinyoung's name, Jinyoung's expression softened at the sight.

"Yah, hyung..." The younger muttered, as a flush crept up his face, as he  stood in the middle of the bathroom, a mess of unwashed clothes  sprawled around him. Mark was in a hurry yesterday, he was searching for his phone, which he left in his trousers' pocket before he threw it to the bucket. _Obviously he didn't have time to clean the mess._ "I'm not  going to do your laundry, but if you want me to live here, you should  prepare the apartment for me," He added, and Mark's smile widened at  that. Truthfully, he didn't remember asking Jinyoung to stay, _he wouldn't  want to be rejected_ , but of course he had nothing against it. Jinyoung  knew perfectly what he wanted, after all. _And he didn't want anything  more than to spend his life with Jinyoung, under one roof._

"I'll do everything you want me to," Mark cooed, as he took a few steps  towards Jinyoung. _He already missed him, it was a while since he held  him in his arms-_

"And... There's nothing to eat in a refrigerator, what did you even eat? No wonder you're so skinny-" 

"No problem, I'll take the shower and I'll go to the grocery-" Mark held out  his arms, ready to enfold Jinyoung in his embrace, when the younger tensed, taking a few steps back until his back touched the cold bathroom wall.

"Wait! There's one more thing," He held up his finger in front of Mark's face, stopping him in his tracks. He swallowed nervously. "Let's cover it up with something." He pointed at Mark's chest - _a tattoo of Jinyoung's name._

"The tattoos?" Mark tilted his head. The younger nodded.

"Call me crazy, but... don't you think it brought us bad luck?" He asked and Mark's confusion deepened. J _ust when he learned Jinyoung had his  name inked on his wrist for all this time, he wants to erase it now?_ Mark was quite surprised at Jinyoung's request, he didn't know he was so superstitious. "When I went to have a tattoo of your name done, the  tattooist said that many people believe that name tattoos or ones with initials jinx a relationship. I thought it's stupid. But after I had your name  on my skin I became more... _territorial_ about you? Initially I just wanted  your name on my body to show you how I felt, that you mean a lot to me, but then we got into a fight because I was mad at how can you have more important things than me when I do so many things for you?" He said, his forehead furrowed, but eyes were glistening; Mark listened carefully, "You know... he said that a tattoo may be permanent, but it is not a written contract binding two people in a relationship forever. And...  I think he was right. Isn't it enough if we have each other in our hearts?" As weird as it was, Mark thought he might be right. He inched closer and took Jinyoung's hand and run his fingers lightly over the skin on his wrist without words.  _Over his name, inked on Jinyoung's skin_. "Wait, hyung, don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want to be with you or that I'm going to break up with you at some point-"

"Maybe you're right," Mark tattooing Jinyoung's name inadvertently took him for granted, but _the real commitment shows in everyday behavior in a relationship between two people, not in a small patch of ink, isn't it?_ A tattoo doesn't define the amount of love they have for each other. "Let's cover it. We'll feel less pressured." Jinyoung's face brightened at that,  every trace of tension washed away by Mark's words.

"Glad you understand." He spoke, reaching his hand up and raking his  fingers through Mark's messy hair. Mark's heart skipped a beat, as the  butterflies spread in his stomach at the gesture, he couldn't help but  beam at Jinyoung - he couldn't contain his happiness. _With a tattoo or  not; his feelings for him won't ever change._

"You know, we can always change it for an engraved jewelry instead,  like... _rings_?"

" _Mark_ ," Jinyoung's sparkling eyes widened at Mark's suggestion, "A-are you proposing to me right now?" Mark's breath caught in his throat.

"N-not yet," He laughed nervously, his face reddened in a matter of  seconds. He had thought about it a lot when they were together, he  would've asked him now if he had the rings they were talking about, but, to  be completely honest, he didn't want to scare Jinyoung away by asking  him to give him a life-long dedication and commitment after all they went  through in the past. "We need to start over... I'm not sure you would accept me, we haven't seen each other for 3 years, so... let's take it  slow. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to..." He looked at Jinyoung  from under his eyelashes, as he bit his bottom lip, while the younger's  eyes were fixed on him. Jinyoung resumed to stroking his hair, strand by strand.

"That's very mature of you, surprisingly," He chuckled, making Mark even more embarrassed than he already was.

"What that supposed to mean? I'm older than you, of course I'm mature-"

"If you asked now I'd say yes, though,"

"What?" Mark was baffled, when the younger leaned in, repeating quietly:

"My answer would be _yes_ ," Mark's body shivered when his lips brushed his ears and warm breath tickled his skin.    

"Jinyoung, then-"

"-But you missed your chance now, so you need to work hard to get me to say yes again," Jinyoung pulled away, with a teasing grin on his face, "I'm not an easy man," He giggled, as he tried to leave their proximity, but unsuccessfully, when Mark trapped him, placing his hands on both sides of his body, Jinyoung's back leaning against the wall once again. Mark inched closer and even though he was sure Jinyoung could easily  hear, _feel_ his heartbeat, thumping firmly against his chest, he couldn't care less - Jinyoung's teasing side was also his favorite. _And he missed it to no end_.

"Eyyy, Jinyoungie, playing hard to get~" He purred, cupping the back of  his head and nuzzling into Jinyoung's neck, his lips ghosting over his neck. The sound of Jinyoung's quickened breath wafted around the messy bathroom.

"I-I want you to take the initiative now. I want you to fight for my attention..."

"I'll make you the happiest person alive, I won't let you go ever again," Mark confessed, moving his lips onto his cheeks, peppering it with kisses, "I love you, Jinyoung-ah-"

He was interrupted by Jinyoung's soft lips pressing against his own; Mark didn't wait a second to respond to the kiss, as he tilted his head to  the side - their parted lips colliding again, with their tongues rolling over each other and teeth clicking from the desperate pace of their contact.

"Hyung, let's take a shower," Jinyoung panted, after he pulled away and looked  straight into Mark's dark eyes, running a thumb over his chin, "Together."

Mark grinned. He doesn't have to be told twice. After all, he'll do everything for Jinyoung.

With a tattoo of his name on his skin or without it.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever read it - I hope you liked it! ;; Somehow it's difficult to find time to write lately, so I'm proud I managed to finish this fic. Let me know what do you think! :)


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